Chapter Text
The spring semester wasn’t as hard on Cam, so he was able to come home more often. He would accompany Lily and her friends to the hospital where she volunteered. She wanted to improve the gaming experience for sick kids by giving them better access to board and video games. Her teachers told her it would also be good to have on her college applications. The kids loved working with her, and they’d ask if Joe or her brothers could visit, to which she was a little hesitant on letting the younger boys go. Rex was only five and Cal was nine: they’d wanted to go too, but their dads said it might not be a good idea. Cal stated it’s not like they could just get sick too, which prompted a conversation away from Rex that some of the kids Lily saw were very sick and they didn’t think the younger boys could handle if something happened to any of their new friends. Cal understood and stayed home. Rex didn’t like that idea, but he had no choice other than to listen to what he was told.
Jay and Gloria had multiple debates about it since Jay didn’t want his son traumatized, but Gloria was insistent that Joe should be independent and that she’d grown up around death a lot. Jay argued back that her town in Colombia was different than kids in a hospital in California. Gloria told him the only difference was that no one here was getting stabbed in the back, but it was still death all the same. She mentioned that Joe had killed a chicken as a kid and that he’d already had the whole ‘death is inevitable’ talk when he was little, and at his current age of thirteen, he could handle it. Joe finally interrupted them and said that in this day and age of internet research, he could look up diseases and what they do. He said he knew that there were dying kids and he just wanted to be their friend and make sure they were happy and comfortable and that Lily was basically doing that. So, Joe was allowed to go with his mother supervising him.
“Jojo, how’s it going?” Artie said when he entered the play room.
“It’s good.” Joe said, teaching a girl how to use a VR headset. “Lily found a lot of older games and some things were gross and moldy, so we’re getting replacements.”
“Might be hard depending on how old the games are.”
“Yeah. What are you in for?”
“Just some blood tests.” The older teen shrugged. “Gotta carry around this IV pole, though. Is it just me or did I see a Fizbo around here?”
“It wasn’t just you.” Lily said as she entered with an armful of boxes. “He’s visiting a bunch of different rooms. Alright, who needed Mouse Trap?”
“Me!” A boy exclaimed.
“Okay, Daniel gets the game. Natalie, did you want to play too?”
The addressed girl nodded shyly.
“I’ll play!” Joe said. “Artie, are you playing?”
“Nah, I need to get back so my mom doesn’t panic. Lily, could you come with?” Artie said. Lily nodded. “See you later!”
“Bye, Artie!” The kids all said.
Lily followed him to his room, greeting Francisca. Artie made himself comfortable on the bed, his mother went to get some food.
“How’s it going with Teo?” Artie asked.
“Good.” Lily said. “He’s a good friend.”
“Really? Just friends?”
“Yes, just friends.”
“You have proudly declared yourself bisexual, stated interest in Teo, briefly dated Maya, and Teo is one of your closest friends after the breakup and you’re…just friends?” Artie gave her a look of disbelief.
“Briefly? We dated two years, that’s not brief for a teenager. And when did I ever say I was interested in him?”
“Okay, you didn’t state it in words per se. It was more your looks.”
“My looks? Meaning friendship and empathy for his family situation? You can’t say it’s because of anyone joining the group so fast because Elias and Silvia joined quickly and I have no romantic interest in them.”
“I’d know if you were interested in my sister and if she wasn’t straight.”
“Still not interested in Teo.”
“You have a gaydar, I have a loveometer, and it’s going ‘pinging the heart, love is here!’”
“You sure you’re not in love with anyone and you’re deflecting it on me and my love life?”
“I mean, I do have a crush, but no I’m not.”
“Ooo, who’s the girl?”
“Y-nevermind.“
Lily laughed. “You so wanted to say ‘your mom’, didn’t you?”
“Absolutely.” He said with a deadpan stare. “Her name is Yvette and she’s nineteen like me.”
“And she knows you exist?”
“Yes. She works part time at the front desk in radiology. Now that I’ve told you about my crush…” He looked pointedly at her.
“I did have a small crush on him when I first met him.” Lily admitted. “But then when I was returning a flute to the music room, Maya was there and she knocked some instruments over and I helped her…then one thing led to another and you know the rest.”
“That’s all I wanted to hear.” Artie said with a huge grin. “That small crush is like a tiny plant. Water it, nurture it, see if it grows. You don’t know until you shoot your shot.”
“And if I’m shot down, crush the plant under my shoe.” Lily said.
“Okay, I’m not the best with metaphors.”
“You are definitely not.” Silvia said, entering the room. “Did he tell you about Yvette?”
“OMG, how long have you liked this girl?” Lily asked.
“Not long.” Artie said, a small blush appearing on his cheeks.
“Several months.” Silvia said.
“The betrayal is real.”
“I know you’re getting on Lily’s case about Teo, so why can’t we get on your case? You’re in and out of radiology.”
“As a patient.”
“She’s at the front desk, not a doctor. I want to see my big brother happy, so go ahead. And I think she likes you too. When she writes your name in the file, she puts a heart over the I.”
“Really?”
“Not kidding. She once said she’d sign you in so you didn’t have to do it and when I read it, there was the heart over your I and no one else’s.”
“How about we both do something?” Lily asked. “I will ask Teo if he has feelings for me if you ask Yvette if she’s into you.”
“Deal. I see her next week, so you’ll have to wait.” Artie said.
“Cool, I have time to think about how to approach him.”
“I smell the embers of a crush rekindled.”
“Weird smell since this is a hospital.”
Francisca laughed from the doorway. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but the nurse has asked for Artie to get some rest.”
“Is everything okay?” Lily asked worriedly.
“Yeah, just felt a bit dizzy.” Artie said. “No need to worry, still in remission and it’s all good.”
Silvia had looked away and Francisca’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. Artie’s reminded Lily of every time her dads tried to save face when stressed. She didn’t press the subject further.
“See you later, then.”
“Bye, Lily.”
Something about the way he said it got to her. She made her way back down to the storage room where her friends were. She asked if Artie and Silvia had been acting strange to them and they said they’d noticed.
“You know how his mom gets every time he gets slightly under the weather. And it was in remission.” Gavin reasoned.
“Would they tell us if it came back?” Alejandro asked.
“We’ve known Silvia five years, I feel like she’d tell us pretty much anything.” Lily said.
“She did show up for someone she barely knew.” Quinn said. “That’s like your uncle Phil’s dad’s level of dedication.”
“Yeah…”
“Can you even go to radiology if you’re doing chemo?” Angie asked.
“Yes, but it depends on the patient and there’s a time gap. He hasn’t been in chemotherapy in over a year.” Tasha reminded her girlfriend.
“He’s been going to radiology for several months and not just because of a crush.” Lily said.
“I need deets on the crush, girlie.”
“Works at the front desk, she’s nineteen and puts a heart over the I on his name and his name only, and her name’s Yvette.”
“Ok, that is definitely a crush she has on him. Did he reciprocate?”
“Kinda. He blushed when talking about her.”
“Like you and Maya.” Wendell said. “Every time you spoke about her, you blushed. You both had lovestruck eyes and I know you have a soft spot for each other now.”
“We’re not still in love.” Lily said.
“We know that, but I’m just saying we know the look of love.”
The others nodded.
“Elias would agree if he was here.” Mariana pointed out. “He even asked me once if you liked Teo and I told him no, then you announced that you and Maya were dating.”
Lily sighed. No one had any further comment on it, though Tasha looked like she wanted to keep talking about it. Angie and Mariana gave her looks telling her not to comment, so she didn’t.
Later, Lily got the radio out and asked if everyone really thought she had a crush on Teo. She was met with a resounding ‘yes’. Even Joe chimed in and said she talked about him a lot during family gatherings. Cal had been in the room and said she did mention Teo multiple times, to which Rex agreed.
Monday rolled around and Silvia wasn’t in school. She hadn’t said anything in group messages, despite them trying to prep for finals together. Everyone who had shared classes with her and/or Artie, who was trying to get his GED, noticed their teachers looked tense. Cam hadn’t been teaching that semester since Mitch’s case involved his abusive ex and he couldn’t take much of the household load since then. Everything rattled the redhead even though the kids seemed to have moved on.
Usually, Lily wouldn’t be at a sleepover on a Monday night, but Angie really needed help studying even though finals were a week away and Tasha was more of a distraction than a help. Angie was freaked out, though, since she had troubles with focusing. Lily had volunteered with kids who had ADHD and ADD, and strongly suspected Rex might have ADD. His was going to be assessed in the summer. That and she’d known Angie for years and Angie trusted Lily to keep her focused.
Mitchell had been fine until he reopened his last case for filing and it hit him all over again. He couldn't sleep and hearing about how odd Artie and his family was acting didn’t help his anxiety. He then felt terrible about his own anxiety while his daughter was concerned for a friend, leading to him scolding himself for thinking about himself. Cam figured he needed a break from everything and asked if Jay could take the boys for the night and bring them to school in the morning. He agreed and the boys were excited to have a sleepover with Joe on a school night.
Cam made dinner and tended to the chickens, Mitch came out silently and took over feeding the chickens while Cam watered the garden. Cam went inside and put food out for Larry, then cleaned out his litter box. By that time, Mitch had closed the coop and come back inside to vacuum while Larry stared at the machine from the couch. Mitchell looked like he had so much running through his mind, but voiced none of it. Cam observed his husband’s face before gently taking the vacuum from him and putting it away, telling him to meet in the karaoke room. Mitch was looking through songs when Cam entered.
“Mitchell?”
“I don’t want to sing.” Mitch said, putting the microphone away. He shoved his hands in his pockets and sighed. “I just-I don’t know…I’m glad we have this kid free evening, but-” He groaned in frustration, hands flying to his head. “I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
Cam gently took his hands. Mitch sighed and looked at his husband’s eyes. Cam put his arm around Mitch’s waist and held his other hand. Mitch instinctively put his arm around Cam’s back.
“Maybe we can just dance, then.” Cam whispered, his forehead on Mitch’s.
“Okay.” Mitch whispered back. “Not the dance I usually ask for.”
“Just this. Just sway with me.”
“Remember our wedding day?”
“When we danced like this?”
“Yes.”
“Mitchell?”
“The words I said then…when I whispered to you and you were trying not to giggle too loudly…you remember them?”
“I don’t think I could forget even after thirteen years. You followed through in Cabo, after all.”
“And the first night. The promise you kept. The promise I kept…”
“Absolutely. I am yours, no matter what. I know we both were jealous of a couple of exes, but I knew you’d never go back to Teddy and I’d never go back to Keifth. He left me, Mitchell. He said pretty words, but he still hurt me and I know you wouldn’t do that. I know you were scared, but I made sure you knew-”
“Cam. I’m scared. I’m scared of him breaking out. I’m scared of being targeted…of our family getting hurt and-and don’t tell me it’s not my fault, I know it isn’t.”
“You’re safe with me. I’ve always said that and meant it. Through the ups and downs, I stayed. You stayed. I’ll stand by you as you will for me. We’re safe. I love you, Mitchell. You were so brave in that courtroom. You were amazing and you-mm”
Mitchell kissed him. “I was only lifted off the ground because of you.”
“You mean like this?” Mitch yelped as Cam picked him up, bridal style. “I will never tire of surprising you.”
“You want to carry me up to the room like this, but you’ll break your back if you do that.”
“True. So, let’s just walk up there.”
Cam put him down and grabbed his hand. They quickly made their way to their bedroom, giggling like they were a couple of teenagers. Cam wrapped his arms around his husband and kissed him, feeling hands pressing on his butt.
“Working your way around?” Cam whispered slyly.
“Making you work for it.” Mitch responded.
“Work for your plan or mine?”
“We can combine plans.”
“Mine was to press you against the wall until you were ready for the bed.”
“Really? I planned the same.” Mitchell pushed him on the wall, panting. He kissed his husband who moaned lightly. “You’re at my mercy, Cameron.”
“You really are embracing the truth that you’ve been in charge this entire time.” Cam said in a high pitched voice.
“You enjoy it.” Mitch whispered.
“Never said I didn’t.”
“I’m going to slowly unbutton your shirt, then we’ll see how it goes from there.”
“Go ahead. Where would you like my hands?”
“Anywhere.”
Cam put one on the back of Mitch’s head and the other hooked onto the waistband of his pants. This caused Mitch to kiss him even more passionately, partially forgetting he was trying to unbutton Cam’s shirt, which made Cam giggle.
Then Mitch stopped, holding onto Cam’s shirt as he looked through their open doorway. “Did you hear that?”
“No.” Cam said.
“Sounded like a car door.”
“Weird. Maybe it was the neighbors.”
“Yeah.” Mitch returned to kissing Cam.
BAM
They jumped, their hearts pounding. That was definitely their front door.
“Did we leave it unlocked?” Mitch asked worriedly.
“I don’t think so.” Cam said. He slid past Mitch and grabbed the baseball bat. Mitch went to the closet shelf and got down his pocketknife.
They heard stomping footsteps and sounds of things being knocked over. Then a loud scream of frustration made them both sigh in relief while feeling concerned. It sounded like Lily. Mitch folded the knife, took the bat from Cam, and put them back. Cam called out for Lily as she stomped up the stairs and flew past them, cursing up a storm.
“Lily?” Mitch said worriedly.
“Lily, what hap-?”
BAM
She slammed her bedroom door shut and screamed again. They heard a light thumping noise and a louder one. They entered her bedroom, Lily was sobbing and hitting her pillow on the bed. Several things on her desk were knocked over due to her throwing her other pillow. Her phone lay facedown on the floor.
“Lily, honey…please talk to us…does Angie’s mom know you came home?” Cam asked gently.
“I didn’t fly here!” Lily snapped.
“I’m sure whatever it is can be talked out and-”
“NO IT f*ckING CAN’T!” She screamed, throwing the pillow at him. “IT’S NEVER GOING TO BE OKAY AGAIN!” She looked at her drawers and picked up a picture, then lifted it. Cam took it before she could throw it. “GIVE IT BACK!”
“Lily, talk to me. Why do you want to break it?” Cam asked, holding it above her head.
“GIVE IT!” She scratched at his arm, trying to get it. “WHY SHOULD WE BE HAPPY?!”
“What made you sad?”
“STOP BEING SO DAMN CALM! YOU’RE THE EMOTIONAL ONE! STOP BEING SO GODDAMN CALM!” She cried, pounding her fists on Cam’s chest. “Stop…just want everything…to stop…”
Mitch took the picture as Cam wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his chest. “Tell me why, baby.”
“Not…fair…it’s not fair…”
“I want to help you, I do, but you have to tell me how.”
Mitch looked at the picture. It was most of Lily’s friend group at the roller rink with Silvia’s older brother. Then he picked up Lily’s phone.
“Lily, honey, can I look at your phone?” Mitch asked. Lily nodded.
He looked at the messages app, his brows furrowing as he scrolled down. His eyes widened and he felt his breath catch.
“Mitchell? Mitchell, talk to me.” Cam said.
“C-Cam…”
“Is it a threatening message? Mitchell, please don’t shut down. I need you.”
“N-no, it-it’s Artie…oh god, Lily I’m so sorry.”
“Mitchell, do you mean-?”
Mitch nodded as he wrapped his arms around his daughter and husband. “This morning.”
“I’m sorry…” Lily cried.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, honey.”
“I-I wasn’t thinking w-when I came in-”
“I’m fine.” Cam whispered. “We’re fine, don’t worry about us. We understand.”
“Swearing when b-boys are home…”
“They’re at Grandpa’s, you’re fine.”
“S-scared Larry…”
“Larry’s on the couch downstairs, he’ll probably come looking to see what’s going on.”
“Bothered your quiet time…”
“You are far more important.” Mitch said. “Dad and I will have plenty of chances for quiet time, but you need us now.”
The walkie crackled.
“Hi Lily!” Cal’s voice said brightly.
Lily’s hands tightened around her dad’s shirt. Mitch took the device.
“Hey, Cal. Lily’s not feeling good right now.”
“Oh, I didn’t know she was at home. Did she get sick?”
Lily sobbed.
“Cal, I’m sorry, it’s not a good time.” Mitch said. He turned the radio off and hugged them again.
A few moments later, they were sitting on the bed, Lily’s head on Mitch’s shoulder as she sniffled. Her cell phone started ringing. Cam answered.
“Hi, Gloria.”
“Why do you sound sick?” Gloria asked.
“I’m not sick. We-um…we’ve been crying.”
“Did something happen to Lily? If someone hurt her-”
“No, no one hurt her the way you’re thinking. Just let Cal know we’re not mad at him, it’s not a good time and it has nothing to do with him.”
“Tell them.” Lily croaked.
“Are you sure?” Cam asked.
“They’re probably bugging the others if their walkies are on. I don’t want anyone to yell at them because they’re trying to grieve.”
Cam nodded. “Gloria, we just found out that Artie passed away this morning.”
“Dios mío…do you need me to explain to the boys?”
“Yes, please.”
About an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Lily had fallen asleep in Mitch’s arms. Cam had cleaned up the desk and went downstairs, forgetting things had been knocked over downstairs too. He opened the door to see Gloria, Cal, and Rex. The boys had red rimmed eyes and threw themselves at Cam. He held them.
“They didn’t want to be away from Lily.” Gloria said, bringing their backpacks and overnight bag inside. “How is she?”
“Sleeping. It’s…painful. We knew him too, he was-he was a great kid.” Cam said as the boys went upstairs.
“I know. Joe is upset too.”
“I think they just need to be held right now.” Cam said, referring to the kids.
Gloria nodded. She left after picking up the things that had been knocked over and Cam brought the bags to the boys’ room. Gloria had sent them back with clean lunch boxes. He unpacked the overnight bag and went to Lily’s room to see no one.
“Papa.” Rex’s voice called.
Cam went to his room to see everyone on the bed, they made space for him and he lay down next to them. Lily was in the middle with Cal, Rex was half on top of Mitch and half on top of Lily. Larry was curled up on Lily’s chest. Cam lay down and Mitch reached his arm over the kids so Cam could lace their fingers together.
…
“Are you sure you want to go?” Mitch asked when Lily came downstairs the next morning, ready for school.
“Yeah.” Lily said shortly, getting herself a bowl of cereal.
“Honey, everyone would understand if you need time to grieve.”
“I know. But next week’s finals and I’m a senior-” Lily’s voice caught. “We were seniors…no, I’m-I have to.”
“Lily, let me take time off work. The three of us can stay home together or do whatever you want.”
“Are the boys going to school?”
“Yes, we told them they didn’t have to, but they said they wanted to. Well, Rex wanted to stay, but Cal said he’d be sad all day and Rex somehow understood that.”
“He would know.” Lily said. “Distractions are good. And the Outsiders talked about it. We’re all going because Artie would want us to. He told us that life didn’t stop for everyone because one person died. He’d want us to finish out the semester even if it’s just two weeks left and gra-god he was supposed to graduate with us…”
“Are you absolutely sure you can do this? There’s going to be an announcement about him.”
“I am. Just…will you get me in case I can’t?”
“Of course. We’ll be here, just call us.”
…
Silvia didn’t make it through the day. She was fine until she was tired of telling people to stop giving her their condolences. She appreciated it, but it was suffocating. She left before lunch. The rest of the Outsiders slowly picked at their lunches. Wendell sighed and pulled out his sketchbook.
“Quinn and I were going to have everyone sign this so I can print copies and give them to everyone at graduation.” He said. It was a Quinn and Wind comic style drawing of the Outsiders. The page next to it had the junior outsiders in a rough sketch. “The junior outsiders were for passing the walkies on like we planned for the summer.”
“Elias still coming down?” Lily asked.
“Yeah. He’ll stay at my house.” Alejandro said.
A shifting noise made them all look up. Lori avoided eye contact, fidgeting with her bracelet. “I’d like to preface this by saying I’m not coming here looking for forgiveness or for a way back into the group.” She said. “I’m sorry for all that I did and said to all of you and Silvia and Elias. I don’t think I ever talked to Artie, but he seemed nice.”
Lily held her tongue. There was so much she wanted to say and none of it kindly. Maya squeezed her hand gently under the table. Quinn was having a similar battle, clenching their fists. They made eye contact with Wendell who shook his head slightly. Both of Mariana’s hands were held by Tasha and Angie. Most didn’t think they could say anything without causing a scene.
“Teo?” Gavin said, looking for help.
“He was a big brother to all of us.” Teo said. “He protected and cared for everyone. I don’t know what it was like for you guys in eighth grade, but I’ve heard tell. I don’t want to put words in their mouths, so I’ll say my opinion. I don’t think they can ever be your friends again. You were extremely hurtful not only to them, but younger kids and some of their parents and guardians. Maybe they can become indifferent and move on and hope you become a better person, but forgiving you is most likely not on the table.”
Lori looked at him, then at the others who started to nod. She said nothing and nodded before leaving. Silence fell as they looked at the sketch. Lily, Quinn, Wendell, Gavin, and Tasha were depicted at the center with Artie behind them. Angie, Elias, Mariana, Teo, and Maya were around them with Silvia next to her brother. Alejandro was at the edge of the group. They stared at the picture until the bell rang.
